061: 'Send me the link' to... stylish kids' furniture, matching sets & more
Plus: Parenting is a health hazard, mental health news (for kids and moms) & going into debt for Disney
Welcome to Two Truths, a bestselling newsletter & media brand exploring the many truths of motherhood from journalists & maternal health advocates Cassie Shortsleeve of Dear Sunday Motherhood & Kelsey Haywood Lucas of Motherspeak. Two Truths is rooted in the healing & affirming principle that two (or more) things can be true. It’s a “best parenting Substack” per Motherly; also seen in The Skimm, Vox, The Bump, Popsugar & more.
News… & Other Things You Need to Know
1. The postpartum depression screening tool is getting a much-needed rebrand
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that all women be screened for mental health conditions throughout pregnancy and postpartum — and while some are screened, not everyone is.
If you were screened, it was likely via the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS), a questionnaire that includes statements such as, “ I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things” or “I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things went wrong.” The EPDS is a gold standard in screening for maternal mental health conditions, and it is imperfect.
Now, researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University’s School of Nursing have revised the tool to make it more culturally inclusive and catch more mothers experiencing a perinatal mental health condition. The new tool, the EPDS-US, adapted from the EPDS, uses “a respectful care and trauma-informed approach.” It aims to reduce feelings of confusion, shame, embarrassment, or stigma.
A few notable changes:
In the original EPDS, statement number six reads, “Things have been getting on top of me.” This language is unclear and could be confusing, especially if English is not your first language. The updated version reads more clearly: “I have felt overwhelmed.”
Statements four and five on the updated scale are also changed to read “I have felt anxious or worried” and “I have felt scared or panicky,” removing the original (somewhat judgmental or shame-inducing) “for no good reason” from the ends of these phrases.
The new version also includes an “Additional Experiences Checklist, which includes intrusive thoughts, feeling “off,” pain, and rage. These items do not impact scoring but can provide more context and details about someone’s experience. You can learn more about the EPDS-US here.
2. A new Surgeon General advisory states parenting is hazardous for your health
At the end of August, Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy, M.D. issued an advisory calling attention to “the stressors that impact the mental health and well-being of parents and caregivers, the critical link between parental mental health and children's long-term well-being, and the urgent need to better support parents, caregivers, and families.”
In short, the highest physician in the nation acknowledged that parenting is hard, the levels of stress many face can be damaging to your health, and we must — as a country, as a community, and as a people — address this issue now. According to data referenced in the advisory:
33% of parents report high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults.
48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.
The warning, accompanied by an op-ed by Dr. Murthy in The New York Times, validated American parents’ everyday struggles in this country. Coming from the nation’s leading physician, it carries great weight (while also likely surprising no one with children).
Dr. Murthy outlines “ways to act” depending on your role in society, including tangible actions such as the need to pass a federal paid leave policy (policymakers), provide quality mental health care (health and social service systems), and strengthen social support and connection (all of us).
As we often say, change can be big and it can also be small. We are heartened to see the struggles of American parents finally taken so seriously in such a public light and we are saddened to see the state of American parenthood laid out so plainly.
» Want to get involved in the push for paid leave, affordable child care, and improved maternal health for all? Join Chamber of Mothers — a non-partisan non profit fighting for paid leave, maternal health, and affordable childcare in this country.
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3. This app’s pregnancy mode focuses on mom’s growth and changes, too
Tracking a baby’s growth and development can be one of the most fascinating, mind-blowing, and beautiful aspects of the pregnancy journey. But equally as important — and too often ignored — is the mother’s growth and development. That’s why we love the Natural Cycles° app’s Follow Pregnancy mode: In addition to offering updates on baby’s development, pregnant users can keep track of how far along they are and will receive updates each week on their body and how it may be changing at that specific point in their pregnancy. The app also allows pregnant users to track their mental and physical health: temperature, moods, pain, vaginal discharge, skin, sex drive, and other symptoms. Logging this info helps capture a comprehensive picture of pregnancy; and all those little details can be helpful when seeking specialty support from providers. Natural Cycles° is the first and only FDA-cleared birth control app; it can help you prevent pregnancy, conceive, track a pregnancy, recover from childbirth or loss, and more.1
» Click here to learn more about how Natural Cycles° can work for you — and use the code twotruths to get a free thermometer and 15% off your annual subscription.
4. Phones are being banned in schools around the world. Companies are teaming up with parents to spread the movement.
The push to ban phones in schools is real, and it’s happening all over the world, from England to New York City. If you’ve heard about the harms of phones for kids and are interested in exploring how to get involved — and bring the movement to your school system — we have news: The Phone-Free Schools Movement, a group working to implement effective phone-free policies for K-12 schools (Jonathan Haidt, Ph.D., a movement leader and author of The Anxious Generation is on the group’s board of advisors), and Fairplay, the leading nonprofit committed to helping children thrive, have teamed up to offer caregivers tools to get phones out of schools.
The toolkit, discussed in detail here in Haidt’s newsletter After Babel, includes an “implementation guide along with a rollout timeline and model policy designed to help administrators engage all stakeholders, minimize pushback, and facilitate a smooth transition to a phone-free school environment.” It’s available for free here.
» Related reading:
What Teens Think About the New School Phone Bans Meant to ‘Prevent Distraction via Teen Vogue
Georgia school shooting highlights fears about classroom cellphone bans via The AP
Instagram, Facing Pressure Over Child Safety Online, Unveils Sweeping Changes via The New York Times [gift link]
5. The first reported preventable deaths tied to abortion bans have been identified
Last week, the topics of abortion and women’s reproductive rights made their way onto the Presidential debate stage, with Vice President Harris stating, “In over 20 states, there are Trump abortion bans which make it criminal for a doctor or nurse to provide health care.”
Now, ProPublica has discovered that “at least two women in Georgia died after they couldn’t access legal abortions and timely medical care in their state.” The deaths of Candi Miller and Amber Thurman, which took place in 2022, are tragic, avoidable, and, as many experts noted, predictable. They are also not isolated events. “We are also exploring other deaths that have not yet been reviewed but appear to be connected to abortion bans,” ProPublica stated in one of the pieces.
6. Families are going into debt for Disney vacations
“Some families are spending more than they can afford on Disney vacations. They say it’s because they know their children won’t stay young forever,” reports The New York Times [gift link].
» Related: Disney’s Parks Struggle, Exposing a New Trouble Spot [gift link]
Send Me the Link
‘Send Me the Link’ is a special feature of Two Truths where we share the products, services, apps, experts & extras that make life better, brighter, more beautiful, or all-around easier. (We don’t think you need a lot of ‘stuff’ in motherhood, but this stuff is the good stuff.) Here’s the link to…
This important new book — part investigative journalism, part personal narrative — exposes the untold story of the Cesarean section and shines a light on the disturbing state of maternal medical care in America.
My oldest wore this super comfy tie-dye set from an adorable children’s boutique all summer long, and so far, it has staying power into fall. —Cassie
This whimsical, dreamy children’s magazine serves up sweet nostalgia (for me) and instills a sense of magic and wonder (in my kids) c/o fairy crafts, scavenger hunts, stories, and more. (The autumn issue is available now.) —Kelsey
This hair glitter (it goes on like a mascara wand) adds a bit of sparkle for Halloween or gymnastics or ballet or playing mermaid or going to school or…or just about anything that requires kids to sit still for a hairstyle. —K
Post-kids, I’ve started paying more attention to my gut health, and while I’m generally cautious of supplements, I love these probiotics (now available at Target), which I’ve been taking daily for a few months. —C
Two new designer collabs featuring high-style kids furniture and decor: This collab with fashion icon Eva Chen, and this collab with designer Jeremiah Brent. —K
These are my no-rash-ever favorite diapers — the company is mom-founded, the diapers are lined with 100% cotton, and everything’s Shark Tank-approved (Gwyneth Paltrow’s an investor). The code dearsunday10 gets you 10% off on their site, and they’re also now available at Target. —C
And speaking of Target… Need a new car seat? From September 15 to 28, bring your old, expired, or damaged one to Target and you’ll get 20% off a new car seat, stroller, or other select baby gear items. More details here.
ICYMI, more headlines of the month:
Baby-led weaning is big news via The New York Times
The profound loneliness of motherhood via The Guardian
Scary (and rare) mosquito-borne illnesses are popping up in Massachusetts causing parents to be cautious via CBS News
Landmark bill bans some food dyes in California schools via NBC News
Latham Thomas creates a breastfeeding certification program for doulas via Essence
Deaths linked to football raise concerns about the sport’s risks for kids via PBS
Selena Gomez talks about being unable to carry a pregnancy due to health issues via TODAY
There’s a comedy about PPD coming out on 10/1 via The Hollywood Reporter
North Dakota judge strikes down the state’s abortion ban via CNN
Words That Resonate
« In this new feature, we share some of our top posts — and the reactions and conversations they spurred. » Few words frequently uttered to young families are more divisive than “enjoy every moment.” Here, Kelsey shares her take on interpreting this phrase…
“This is so beautiful, Kelsey! I needed this reminder because I can be one of those eye rollers. This take makes me reflect on their longing and nostalgia ❤️” —@haley.soscia
“I’ll take the perspective shift for my sanity so thank you. For me, the issue isn’t so much about it being said during challenging times, but more so that it creates anxiety and sadness like it’s all fleeting.” —@x_nknknk_x
“There is, in my opinion, a time and place for this advice to be well-received. Perhaps it is not always appropriate to use a family in the midst of struggle to spotlight your walk down memory lane. But it is important to see the good intentions in these words. That I do believe. ❤️” —@noellekaveh
“THIS! So so true. I have found the wisdom of elder women to be such a gift. It’s such a good reminder!” —@juliane.adenuga
“I say it to myself! With a 17 year old and a 13 month old it’s so true, in the best way. No one is negating the hard work involved or the tough moments. I agree it’s more from a nostalgic and loving place.” —@surfsidemystic
And We’ll Leave You With This…
Do you pledge to vote like a mother?
✨ Thanks for reading! To support this work (done between naps, after bedtimes, and before school pickups), please consider upgrading to a paid subscription (it’s just $5/month or $50/year to get the premium experience — every single issue, exclusive content and giveaways, access to the full archive of content, and more). You can also hit the heart button to tell us you enjoyed this issue, share it on social media (don’t forget to tag @twotruthsmotherhood on IG), or forward it to a friend. We appreciate you. —Cassie and Kelsey
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Resources and Support For Maternal Mental Health
Emergency assistance is available 24/7 at 911
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 988
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (1-833-TLC-MAMA or 1-833-852-6262) provides access to a trained counselor 24/7 and is available in Spanish and English
Postpartum Support International provides educational resources on PMADs, free support groups, webinars, advanced trainings for providers, and more
Postpartum Support International’s provider directory includes a list of thousands of trained professionals organized by state
The Motherhood Center offers counseling, support groups, and webinars
The Postpartum Stress Center offers educational resources, counseling, a referral list of trained providers, and advanced training for providers
SUPPORT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WITH POSTPARTUM SUPPORT INTERNATIONAL (PSI). PSI is a global champion for perinatal mental health that connects individuals and families to the resources and support needed to give them the strongest and healthiest start possible. Visit postpartum.net for information on perinatal mental health disorders, access to 30+ free, online support groups, an online provider directory, the PSI HelpLine, local support coordinators, a perinatal mental health discussion tool, specialized support resources, and more. Call the PSI HelpLine toll-free at 1-800-944-4773 for basic information, support, and resources. Support via text message is also available at 800-944-4773 (English) and 971-203-2773 (Español). Remember: You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.
Natural Cycles is for ages 18+ and does not protect against STIs.