057: Social media should come with a warning, matrescence in the news & stuff for an awesome summer

Plus: An astrology guide for you + your baby

Find our favorite stuff for staying cool (including this cutie kiddie pool) below

Welcome to Two Truths, a bestselling newsletter & media brand exploring the many truths of motherhood from journalists & maternal health advocates Cassie Shortsleeve of Dear Sunday Motherhood & Kelsey Haywood Lucas of Motherspeak. Two Truths is rooted in the healing & affirming principle that two (or more) things can be true. It’s a “best parenting Substack” per Motherly; also seen in The Skimm, Vox, The Bump, Popsugar & more.

---

---

News… & Other Things You Need to Know

1. We’ve been spending less time on social media, so this caught our attention even more: Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy, M.D., says social media should have a warning label.

Read his op-ed in the New York Times here or listen here via The Daily.

“Why is it that we have failed to respond to the harms of social media when they are no less urgent or widespread than those posed by unsafe cars, planes or food? These harms are not a failure of willpower and parenting; they are the consequence of unleashing powerful technology without adequate safety measures, transparency, or accountability. The moral test of any society is how well it protects its children.” —Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy, M.D.

» See also: ‘Big News: The Surgeon General Calls for a Warning Label on Social Media,’ in which author Jonathan Haidt, Ph.D., author of the buzzy new book The Anxious Generation, digs in further for his newsletter, After Babel.

2. With five children between us, water safety is top of mind — especially given that drowning is a leading cause of death in childhood. Here’s (some of) what you need to know about keeping kids safe near water:

First, it’s crucial to remember there are different layers to swim safety. These layers include — but are not limited to — starting children in swim lessons early, always having a designated person watching the water, staying within arm's reach of children who cannot swim, having children who cannot swim in a U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jacket in open water, proper fencing and security around all pools, and understanding that even shallow water can pose a risk to young children.

Yet, as science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer points out, referring specifically to swim lessons and having adults nearby, “the things we think protect our kids often don’t.” In her deep dive into drowning incidents among kids, she reminds us: 1) “Swim lessons are not a panacea”; while crucial, they “can be dangerous if they cause caregivers to become overconfident about their kids’ abilities and watch them less closely.” And 2), “when kids drown, adults are usually nearby — just not fully paying attention.” Let the data serve as a reminder that nothing is more important than close, non-distracted adult supervision regarding swimming and water safety.

For your review:

• Here are the American Red Cross’ guidelines on water safety for kids. 

• The American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines are here. 

*As with anything regarding your children’s health and safety, always bring any questions or concerns to your pediatrician.*

PS: ICYMI…the buzz on swimsuit colors: Over the past five years, an aquatic safety services company, Alive Solutions, has tested how visible different swimsuits are in pools and lakes. Through various tests, they’ve found that blues and greens almost completely disappear in water, while brighter neon colors stand out more. This news has prompted multiple articles and social media posts on the topic. But while the color of a bathing suit may help make a child more visible in the water, as Maneesha Agarwal, M.D., an associate professor of pediatrics and emergency medicine at Emory University School of Medicine, told CNN: There “isn’t ‘real-world evidence’ that having a child in a neon bathing suit leads to better outcomes in a drowning event.” Dr. Agarwal went on to say, “The goal is that you never have to even rely on your child’s bathing suit color to find them in a drowning event at all.”

3. ‘Matrescence’ — a.k.a. the transformation to motherhood — is out in the wild this month, and we’re happy to see it.

One new paper argues that matrescence is an important concept in maternal mental health. We love to see these words in scientific journals: “Embracing matrescence as a fundamental concept in perinatal psychiatry holds promise for improving maternal mental health outcomes and promoting the flourishing of mothers worldwide.” Aurelie Athan, Ph. D., wrote the full perspective article in Frontiers in Psychiatry, a wonderfully detailed, deeply necessary, and additive piece of literature.

aurelieathanphd

A post shared by @aurelieathanphd

Another article, ‘Understanding the maternal brain in the context of the mental load of motherhood,’ by lead author Jodi Pawluski, Ph.D., discusses a topic many moms can relate to. “This is a start to a much needed future of maternal/parental brain research,” Pawluski wrote on Instagram.

» See also: ‘Actually, Having a Baby Changes You Forever,’ a piece about the lasting biological and psychological metamorphosis of matrescence by Miranda Rake, and ‘What If Motherhood Isn’t Transformative at All?’ the other side of the coin, penned by Anastasia Berg, both via The Cut.

4. In Thursday night’s presidential debate, CNN asked President Biden and former President Trump about childcare, and neither could give a good enough answer.

After the advocacy group Moms First gathered about 15,000 signatures on a petition urging CNN to ask the presidential candidates about childcare, CNN's Jake Tapper did, questioning both President Biden and former President Trump on what they would do to lower childcare costs for American families. Both gave unsuitable responses.

Two things can be true: Even having childcare brought up on a national debate stage is a win…and American mothers are still at a loss without the answers they need to get through their day-to-day.

For urgent childcare solutions—big and small—from our friend and Chamber of Mothers co-founder Lauren Smith Brody, founder of The Fifth Trimester, read ‘Solid Advice on the Most Pressing Child Care Questions Facing Working Parents Today.’

5. The New York Times just did a big feature on addiction and pregnancy, addressing the stigma and shame many pregnant people who struggle with addiction face and highlighting the specified treatments available today. 

“Some clinics see pregnancy as an ideal time to help them confront addiction,” the news outlet reports.

Given recent data that suggests opioid-related overdoses are a leading cause of death during pregnancy, and the postpartum period, this is particularly important.

» See also: The Face Of The Opioid Crisis Is Changing, And Treatments Need To Catch Up via Women’s Health.

6. It’s common for pregnancy to mess with body image; if it does, it’s important to know that there are ways to feel better — and that help is available should you need it.

Cassie’s latest for SELF includes six takeaways for moms-to-be when the physical changes of pregnancy bring up complicated feelings.

---

---

Send Me the Link: Summer Fun & Travel Edition

‘Send Me the Link’ is a special feature of Two Truths where we share the products, services, apps, experts & extras that make life better, brighter, more beautiful, or all-around easier. (We don’t think you need a lot of ‘stuff’ in motherhood, but this stuff is the good stuff.)  Here’s the link to…

These $16 sunnies earn me more compliments than any of my designer shades. They’re reminiscent of an iconic Celine shape, but you won’t cry if they get crushed in your beach bag. —K 

The stroller reimagined: We use this wagon, which fits between two and four small kids, depending on which size you get. The company is releasing beach wheels soon, too. —C

This hydrangea-print one-piece swimsuit with a matching skirt set is the vacay outfit of my dreams; I wore it from the beach to brunch while comfortably chasing my kids. —K

And speaking of swimsuits: This UPF-boosted neon line helps my kids stand out in a crowd and protects their skin. I’m also really into the idea of swim pants right now; my toddler’s legs don’t get so scratched up when crawling all over concrete and sand. –K

These organic, no-sugar-added freeze pops that my kids are eating on repeat. —C

This app saves so much time — and makes scheduling a cinch. Simply snap a pic of almost anything (think: your kid’s camp or sports or school schedule, an event flyer, etc.), and then it automatically converts the photo to individual calendar events for every special pick-up time, performance, or day off. (Copy/paste works, too.) #partner 

This baby gear rental service is kind of like an Airbnb for all the kid stuff you don’t want to schlep on your travels. I’ve rented from the same family for my past two trips to Palm Springs, and it made (the packing part of) cross-country travel with kids feel seamless and smooth. (The code twotruths gets you $20 off your rental of $100+.) —K

These just-released swim diapers from a favorite diaper company are ultra soft and absorbent…making long days at the pool/beach/sprinkler so much more comfortable. Use code motherspeak20 for 20% off your first order. —K

This compact, portable car seat is perfect for travel: It’s FAA-approved for plane travel, so easy to install that it works for ride-sharing, and trim enough to fit three across in a car. Plus, the style is so sleek that you’ll want to use it every day. —K

This $45, rainforest-themed kiddie pool/slide/splash pad/sprinkler hybrid is an adorable way to keep kids cool. —K

---

What We’re Reading

Matrescence by Lucy Jones, which was recently featured in The New Yorker and is currently on both of our bedside tables. (Stay tuned for our forthcoming interview with Jones, too.) 

Swan Song, the just-released final installment in Elin Hilderbrand’s best-selling Nantucket novels, is ‘aspirational escapism’ (aka the perfect beach/pool/backyard read) at its best.

Maressa Brown’s Raising Baby By The Stars is a guide to your baby’s astrological sign and how it interacts with your own. I picked it up on a whim in a cute gift shop last summer, and immediately welled up with tears because I felt so seen when I flipped to a section about my son’s temperament. —K

---

Words That Resonate

« In this new feature, we’ll share some of our top posts — and the reactions and conversations they spurred. » Recently, Cassie shared a reflection on her daughter’s 5th birthday; and those words, about the ache and joy of sitting witness to the passing of time, resonated with many.

dearsundaymotherhood

A post shared by @dearsundaymotherhood

I had this exact same moment five years ago. Back then, it seemed so very far away. He just turned 5 and will start Kindergarten in August. My baby is slowly letting go of my hand and my mama heart isn’t ready. ❤️ —@cassie_benita

I think what they don’t tell you is that even when you cherish every moment and lean into ALL the hard stuff, you can’t slow time, you can’t make it last any longer, it all becomes memories and you have to learn to love the present with your not so little babies, but growing independent, so smart 5 year olds. —@kresmith

Couldn’t be more true! My son is graduating Kindy tomorrow. 😢 I swear he was just a baby not so long ago. ❤️ —@doprettygirlrock

Twins turned 5 last month and I have been a sobbing wreck. We need a support group! -@racheljzoldan

5 years old felt like it would never come, then it did 😳😥😥. Hit me like a train —@mollywaite12

---

And We’ll Leave You With This…

twotruthsmotherhood

A post shared by @twotruthsmotherhood

---

✨ Thanks for reading! To support this work (done between naps, after bedtimes, and before school pickups), please consider upgrading to a paid subscription (it’s just $5/month or $50/year to get the premium experience — every single issue, exclusive content and giveaways, access to the full archive of content, and more). You can also hit the heart button to tell us you enjoyed this issue, share it on social media (don’t forget to tag @twotruthsmotherhood on IG), or forward it to a friend. We appreciate you. —Cassie and Kelsey

Want to sponsor an issue of Two Truths or learn about partnership opportunities?

This issue contains some affiliate links, which means we may earn a small percentage if you make a purchase at no additional cost to you.

---

Resources and Support For Maternal Mental Health

• Emergency assistance is available 24/7 at 911

• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 988

• The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (1-833-TLC-MAMA or 1-833-852-6262) provides access to a trained counselor 24/7 and is available in Spanish and English

• Postpartum Support International provides educational resources on PMADs, free support groups, webinars, advanced trainings for providers, and more

• Postpartum Support International’s provider directory includes a list of thousands of trained professionals organized by state

• The Motherhood Center offers counseling, support groups, and webinars

• The Postpartum Stress Center offers educational resources, counseling, a referral list of trained providers, and advanced training for providers

SUPPORT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WITH POSTPARTUM SUPPORT INTERNATIONAL (PSI). PSI is a global champion for perinatal mental health that connects individuals and families to the resources and support needed to give them the strongest and healthiest start possible. Visit postpartum.net for information on perinatal mental health disorders, access to 30+ free, online support groups, an online provider directory, the PSI HelpLine, local support coordinators, a perinatal mental health discussion tool, specialized support resources, and more. Call the PSI HelpLine toll-free at 1-800-944-4773 for basic information, support, and resources. Support via text message is also available at 800-944-4773 (English) and 971-203-2773 (Español). Remember: You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.